


Seasons of Wither

by furiosity



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-15 12:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13031136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiosity/pseuds/furiosity
Summary: Kaname just wants to be special to Natsume the way all their other friends aren't.





	Seasons of Wither

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rustingroses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustingroses/gifts).



> Happy holidays! I hope that you enjoy this. :)
> 
> Title taken from the Aerosmith song of the same name. Many thanks to L for the beta.

Winter takes Kaname by surprise. He's on his way home from the general store, carrying the slab of konnyaku he'd forgotten to take home that morning, and the edges of his lips sting in the dry air.

Just yesterday, spiders hung above the black pines in the garden, their webs so thin they looked afloat in the humid remnants of summer. Today they're gone, as though the mists that rolled in overnight have carried them away.

Kaname presses his fingers to his lips and thinks of Natsume, who's never done well in the heat. _He must be happy. Ponta, not so much._

He misses them: Natsume, Ponta, Kitamoto, Nishimura, Taki-san. Before he met them, he always thought he would live out his high school days as "that weird temple kid who's sick a lot". A background character, there for a little local flavour, important to no one.

But in the end, he was important to his friends. Though they've been gone for years, he still feels important: they call, they send messages and parcels... they remember him. It's lonely most days, but small towns are like that: no one wants to stay. Kaname would leave, too, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go. He still can't see youkai properly, so none of the exorcist clans would take him seriously.

He turns down the path towards the house's main entrance, and his heart stutters. Natsume stands outside the front door, his face tilted up to the canopy of trees. Every year, he waits for Kaname like this when he comes back for two weeks in winter. Every year, Kaname's heart soars. They travel to see each other and talk on the phone a lot the rest of the time, but these moments are special.

Kaname calls his name, and Natsume looks over, smiling. "I'm home."

~*.*~

"Do you remember when you first kissed me?" Natsume mumbles sleepily as Kaname gets in bed.

"You got so mad at me," Kaname says, rolling in close to him and tucking the blanket's edge underneath himself.

_"Do I look like a girl to you?" Natsume breathes, his eyes aglow with fury._

_Kaname blinks, twice. "I've never wanted to kiss a girl."_

"That's not what I meant," Natsume says. "Do you remember when it was?" 

"Christmas, our third year in high school." Kaname was home alone that week, and he was sure that if he didn't make his feelings for Natsume clear then, he would never have another chance. The Centre Test and entrance exams were weeks away, and he invited Natsume over to study together.

_The moment he pressed his lips to Natsume's, all the agonised self-doubt that filled him for weeks vanished like footprints in a blizzard. This was exactly what he wanted -- just the start of what he wanted -- and knowing it feels good, even if Natsume doesn’t feel the same._

He pulls Natsume into his arms and kisses the tip of his nose. Natsume relaxes into his embrace. "It was ten years ago," he says.

Kaname starts. "This year? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

_“Say that again.”_

_"I've never wanted to kiss a girl."_

_"Oh."_

_The wall clock in the next room ticks loudly, louder, loudest as Kaname watches Natsume's lips part, feels the air make way as Natsume leans in towards him, tastes Natsume's tongue in his mouth, smells the fabric softener on Natsume's shirt collar._

"Do you want to do something special?"

Natsume hooks a leg around Kaname's hip. "Let's spend the whole day in bed tomorrow."

Kaname strokes Natsume's thigh, the cotton pyjamas soft beneath his fingertips. "Okay. You don't want to go out for dinner?"

"We can order food online." Natsume's voice is thick with sleep. “Pizza. Or Coco’s. I don’t care.”

"What about Ponta?" Come to think of it, Kaname hasn't seen him yet.

"I bribed Nyanko-sensei to stay behind this year." Natsume nestles closer. "So we don't have to wait for him to fall asleep every time."

_"That's enough!" Ponta sounds more crotchety than ever. "I came here to eat dorayaki, not for weird human mating rituals."_

_"Go home, sensei," Natsume says, and the steel in his voice makes Kaname's knees tremble. He's wanted this for so long, but it never occurred to him that he wasn't alone._

"I can't wait." Kaname frees one arm from under the blanket to grab the remote and switch off the air conditioner. "Good night, Natsume."

"Takashi," Natsume reminds him. "No one can overhear us here."

"Except the youkai," Kaname points out. He can sense them, somewhere just beyond perception.

Natsume yawns. "Remind me to put up some barriers in the morning."

_He wants to be special to Natsume the way all their other friends aren't, but maybe he's already there._

"Good night, Kaname."

~*.*~

In the morning, fog blankets the forest paths around the house, and frozen dew sits atop every leaf: an illusion of snow. They don't get much real snow here most winters, so it's a lovely sight.

Kaname wakes first and switches on the air conditioner. Though he lets it run for a good ten minutes, the air is still cool when he gets out of bed. He dives back under the blanket, into the warmth they made together.

Natsume stirs with a sleepy noise. It's so strange: they hardly ever get a chance to sleep in the same bed during the rest of the year -- Natsume's dorm at the Nagasaki spirit-friend enclave doesn't allow overnight visitors, and Ponta's always close at hand everywhere else. But when he's here in winter, it feels like he never left. 

"Takashi," Kaname whispers. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, but no."

Kaname smiles. "What does that mean?"

"I'm awake, but I don't want to have sex yet."

"That's not what I--" Kaname bites his lip, blushing. "Can you tell me something?"

Natsume opens his eyes and looks at him. "Sounds serious."

If Kaname looks into his eyes for long, he'll lose his train of thought, so he shuts his eyes. "Am I holding you back?"

"What do you mean?"

"You return every winter, even when it's inconvenient."

"It's always convenient. I want to see you."

"You can see me any time. Instead of once a month, I could go to Nagasaki every week. Just call me, and I'll come."

Natsume reaches for his face and cups his cheek. His hand is warm. "I want to see you here."

Kaname's heart starts to race, and he opens his eyes again. "What if I move?"

"Then I want to see you there."

The air conditioner hisses tiredly and switches to temperature maintenance mode.

Natsume leans in to kiss Kaname's cheek. "You're not holding me back. You-- you are-- you make me feel-- at home."

Neither of them has ever been any good at the talking about their feelings part of everything.

Kaname's heart's beating in his ears. "Takeshi, I--"

Natsume pulls him closer and adjusts the blanket around them. "I missed you. I always miss you. Next winter, I want to be living with you."

"You'll leave the dorm? Won't you get in trouble?"

Natsume kisses his neck. "Nothing I can't handle if you're there."

_He wants to be special to Natsume the way the others aren't, but maybe he always has been._

Their tenth winter will end, and all the others will be warm.


End file.
